I recently caught myself thinking in a slight bit of terror that I was the sole caregiver of 2 people with special needs. Which means I put my son and husband on the same level. Leaving me essentially alone as the bread winner, planner, decision maker for all of us. I just did not feel up to the job/duty.
We were having a good Saturday had a leisurely breakfast, a bike rider, spent time at the pool and hot tub and no one else was around. We walked to the water and saw dolphins. It just took something small to be but large to the brain recovering from the stroke. Tears, sadness and the worst the silence that follows. I never pulled any punches with my kids when they were growing up.
Right or wrong I took my husband to the bathroom to look in the mirror and pulled up a picture on my phone of the same man, with a ventilator tube, IV, Catheter, strapped to a machine to put him in an upright position so he could feel weight on his feet. I asked him do you feel sorry for that guy in the hospital gown or the guy in the mirror?
You think you cannot do things or be productive, and I began the list of everything he does daily as well as reminding him how far he has come since the stroke. Reminding him his brain bled for 48 hours, that he was completely paralazyed on the right side and they said he wouldn’t live. I reminded him he was still a husband and father and grandfather.
I was preaching to myself! This man was not special needs, he is the man God bound me to in sickness, health, richer or poorer until death do us part. And death will be breif but our time in heaven will be forever.
So I am thankful for my faith, my God, my husband, children, grandchildren and friends.
This is life and we are living it everyday.