Thankfully although they are very different, we can still have deep meaningful conversations and we laugh just as much or more than before the stroke. The play and the laughing are the best especially when we can laugh at ourselves. We both do silly ridiculous things and even when we get mad it is a flash in pan and both of us are instantly sorry and contrite. Life is very short, and life changes swiftly all those old adages are true.
It is really true if you look out side of your own circumstances there is someone somewhere whose grief is deeper, whose sadness is larger, and whose pain is greater. I know we are that to someone and others are that example to us.
We strive to be a light though, never give up, don’t let the lows get to low so you cannot be lifted up again. We often talk about our faith and how would we do anything without it.
We spend more time than ever together, I schedule, eye, dentist, doctor, most appointments at the same time to save driving time off work etc. For some it would be too much and I am not saying I don’t crave some time alone and really don’t get much of it. I am planning on cherishing every moment.
During my husband’s recent hospital stay it was hard to bear being away long enough to shower but for everyone’s sake I did it. Someday hospitals will have facilities for family members. I hope I never need to see that day! We ate every meal together in the hospital I tried to make it normal. I ordered a tray we sat together across from each as we ate, looked at the menu together, brushed our teeth together ha ha we never got sick of each other isn’t that a miracle!
We take walks, go to the pool, see a movie, try to still have a date night here and there. It cannot become caregiver and patient. You lose something it happened to us where I felt suddenly like a single mom with 2 children or a 24 hr./7 day a week nurse. That is not what our relationship is about and retaining the love of husband and wife instead of caregiver and patient is a goal that is fluid and worked on every day.
We were on our way to a lab appointment he was getting his creatinine levels checked and me my cholesterol as I am on a journey to better health. We laughed as we went to the wrong lab and then ran out and drove across the street to the right one. We were sitting waiting and he said “You drive crazy, I like it and watching you drive” First of all hysterical and second he said it very clearly.
The other conversation was when he said “ I don’t know how and why you do all that you do” I thought about it for a few minutes and my response was -#1 God gives me the strength, #2 I love you and would do anything for you. #3 We have to live life to the fullest and if that means shaving your face and making sure you are well then that is the life I am living and love.