When Scotty first was admitted to ICU you met so many people just a constant flow. The nurses, therapists, and other staff all seemed to walk in introduce themselves and explain what position or expertise they had concerning my husbands care. Some of the doctors did the same. I don’t live in a bubble and have had my fair share of dealing with the medical community. One Dr in particular was pretty rough to deal with he walked in did not introduce himself, I couldn’t see his tag to see his name or what type of Dr he was and his first words to me were “Do you have a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate)) your husband is in bad shape”
I guess I had a look on my face, the nurse took him out in the hall and told him he upset me, no he didn’t upset me the stroke upset me. He had the bedside manner of a fence post but that is ok if you are a great doctor. He became a better doctor because I confronted him on every negative stance he took with Scott’s care or future. I told him I don’t believe in Unicorns but I have a strong faith in God. I explained that just because my faith in God was strong did not mean I could not make a sound medical decision and because I made a sound medical decision it did not weaken my faith in God.
On several occasions when he made negative comments like the first time Scotty was alert and tracking was Veterans day while he was watching the Green Berets, he asked me if all Scotty could do was lay on his side and watch movies would he be happy, would I be happy. OF course not, I told him it was his job to see if that was all he could do …so do you job and get him out of the bed and find out.
By the end of the time Scotty spent in Neuro ICU the doctor’s mannerisms changed when he talked with me. He was very important being the pulmonary specialist. He also really had warmth towards our son Jacob, I think when he realized Jake was special needs, but asked him great questions about his dad. Every Time I saw him he asked me how my son was , is he dealing ok with his dad’s stroke.
The moral of this story is no matter what the Doctor’s personality pursue your questions until they are satisfied. Don’t be mean, rude or disrespectful just stand firm and demand their attention.